Excerpts with some new interpretations
by FairyPrincessofBurkinaFas
Summary: just a little something i noticed in my spare time (actually, the time that comes from lack of a social life). if you get it, good for you, we have the same seedy mind, if you don't, you'll be puzzling for a while. PG because anyone that shouldn't see i
1. Madam Hoochie

This is a series of excerpts from The Philospher/Sorcerer's Stone. They are taken directly from the page of the books (American) because I thought you may enjoy them from a different point of view. Innuendo is a _very_ fun word.

Disclaimer: why would I bother doing this if i even owned one tiny _element_ of the Harry Potter series. Which I don't. Which is why my life is wasted away with Fan Fiction.

page 146-147

Madam Hooch then showed them how to mount their brooms without sliding off the end, and walked up and down the rows correcting their grips. Harry and Ron were delighted when she told Malfoy he'd been doing it wrong for years.

"Now, when I blow my whistle, you kick off from the ground, hard," said Madam Hooch. "Keep your brooms steady, rise a few feet, and then come back down by leaning forward slightly. On my whistle - three - two -"

But Neville, nervous and jumpy and frightened of being left on the ground, pushed off before the whistle had touched Madam Hooch's lips.

"Come back, boy!" she shouted, but Neville was rising straight up like a cork shot out of bottle - twelve feet - twenty feet. Harry saw his scared white face look down at the ground falling away, saw him gasp, slip sideways off his broom and -

WHAM - a thud and a nasty cracck and Neville lay facedown on the grass in a heap. His broomstick was still rising higher and higher, and started to drift lazily toward the forbidden forest and out of sight.

Madam Hooch was bending over Neville, her face as white as his.


	2. That was some javelin

page 148-149

He hadn't been lying, he _could_ fly well. Hovering level with the topmost branches of an oak he called, "Come and get it, Potter!"

Harry grabbed his broom.

"_No!_" shouted Hermione Granger. "Madam Hooch told us not to move - you'll get us all into trouble."

Harry ignored her. Blood was pounding in his ears. He mounted the broom and kicked hard against the ground and up, up he soared; air rushed through his hair, and his robes whipped out behind him - and in a rush of fierce joy he realized he'd found something he coul do without being taught - this was easy, this was _wonderful_. He pulled his broomstick up a little to take it even higher, and he heard screams and gasps from girls back on the ground and an admiring whoop from Ron.

He turned his broomstick sharply to face Malfoy in midair. Malfoy looked stunned.

"Give it here," Harry called, "or I'll knock you off your broom!"

"Oh yeah?" said Malfoy, trying to sneer, but looking worried.

Harry knew, somehow, what to do. He leaned forward and grasped the broom tightly in both hands, and it shot towards Malfoy like a javelin.


	3. short but safe

Page 163

Malfoy couldn't belaive his eyes when he saw that Harry and Ron were still at Hogwarts the next day, looking tired but perfectly cheerful. Indeed, by the next morning Harry and Ron thought that meeting the tree-headed dog had been quite an adventure, and they were quite keen to have another one. In the meantime, Harry filled Ron in about the package that seemed to have been moved from Gringotts to Hogwarts, and they spent a lot of time wondering what could possibly need such heavy protection.


	4. Ron's magical abilities

Page 176

Howling in pain, the troll twisted and flailed its club, with Harry clinging on for dear life; any second, the troll was going to rip him off or catch him a terrible blow with the club.

Hermione had sunk to the floor in fright; Ron pulled out his own wand - not knowing what he was going to do he heard himself cry the first incantation that came to his head: "_Wingardium Leviosa!_"

The club flew suddenly out of the troll's hand, rose high, high up into the air, turned slowly over - and dropped, with a sickening crack, onto its owner's head. The troll swayed on the spot and then fell flat on its face, with a thud that made the whole room tremble.

Harry got to his feet. He was shaking and out of breath. Ron wand standing there with his wand still raised, staring at what he had done.


End file.
